Enjoyable Dates

I've been thinking recently about Shauns last few posts, and about my own dating situation.

It seems like, instead of asking a girl on a date and then planning to do something that she might enjoy, why not plan to do something you enjoy doing, then invite a girl to join you in the activity?

-Bob

My first mistake...

I think I know one of the things I've been doing wrong. Instead of starting out by thinking about what might be fun to generally do, I have been thinking about what "other people" do on "normal" dates.

First, what do I care what other people do for fun? With my dates I've been taking a high school like attitude which results in doing things the way most other people do, despite getting bad results.

Secondly, who am I to let someone else define what this mythical "normal" is? For shame!!! It is a foolish thing that I have looked outside of myself to determine what I should do.

No, I must move forward. I must put down old attitudes and habits. I must also better define the separation of my work from the rest of my life. If I do not, work will continue to negatively impact many friendships I enjoy presently. Which thing, I believe, has contributed to not enjoying dates much recently.

I think I've got a problem

I went on a date tonight. It was OK, but not great. Though, I think I'm the reason why it didn't go much better than OK.

I'm so very not enthused about dating in general that when I'm on a date I just can't get into it. I think I've also gotten into the habit of not making myself mentally available.

Somewhere I learned that showing interest is a bad thing. From that I transitioned to acting disinterested so as to not show too much interest. Now I'm becoming legitimately disinterested in the dating process even when I want to try going out with someone.

This all adds up to trouble, and I've got to do something about it.

If I don't change anything then Earnest (jack) in the importance of being earnest said it best, "Then a passionate celibacy is all that any of us can look forward to".

I'm going to try again. I'm also going to try my best to be a better date next time. Wish me luck...

Regulation dates

It seems that all I seem to be going on are regulation dates ending in regulation disappointment. It's a phrase that comes from the episode of Futurama where fry dates a bureaucrat.

I think the biggest problem is that I'm just not really into it. I'm coming to expect that dates will go poorly and I'm just not really willing to put the effort into it. It doesn't help that with 4 out of 5 it is my own disinterest that causes me not to try for a second date.

Suffice it to say that dating is hard. There are a lot of people that I don't match very well at all, and it's just so much easier to not go out and spend time doing things I enjoy instead.

The only trouble is that I feel like I'm missing something. Something that has just enough power to make me go on more dates, even though I'm not really enjoying it.