Rocky Mountain Raceways

Can I just say that RMR, while a fun place to go in general, does not translate into a good place for a first date.

It's too loud for conversation.

-Bob

Regrets

Clear back last December, I went on a date with someone we'll call "Operation Independence." We had fun, an enjoyable time. But then something happened.

I never called her for a second date.

I wanted too, sure. However, I didn't. Time passed, and I forgot about it.

Then, I saw her at work last night. For the entire night, she was all I could think about.

That hasn't happened for a long time. Thinking about what might have been.

Someone's getting a phone call from me.

-Bob

Phonitis

Years ago, I was having a conversation with a female friend of mine who was having guy trouble.

The trouble was that the guy wasn't calling her.

It's a problem that I think may come from genetics. It doesn't matter whether it's calling to ask for a date, calling after a date, or just calling to say hi, we guys seem to have a problem.

It's a problem that frustrates the girls, which then frustrates the guys.

What can be done?

-Bob

Refreshing honesty

Today I was talking to a friend of mine. I told her that I had thought about asking her out and asked whether she would like to do that. She told me that she didn't see it as being much of a good fit.

First off, this is refreshing because I would much prefer that she tell me directly that she doesn't see much of a match. Second, I'm not surprised. However, this is preferable to going out and then having one more person in the world who can no longer be at ease in a conversation with me.

I have maintained and will continue to maintain that I am a very unique individual. The thing that can make that hard is that most people just don't understand me. This makes it hard to relate to those people.

It's nice that I had someone remove herself from the running early. I need to find someone who can appreciate full, undiluted Shaun. I'll look high and low, try the likely and unlikely, or even go to the curious and odd. Eventually I'll find someone who can appreciate the nerd that I am and when I meet that person I'm sure it will raise more questions than it answers and strange things will always be afoot.

Shaun

Dating Moratoriums

Have you ever felt the need to stop dating for a while? I decided to do just that back in November. I decided to start dating again a month ago and just haven't done anything. You can read about it in my Dating Moratorium post in my other blog. I think it has served the purpose I was hoping it would.

I wanted to do a reset on my dating life. The theory is that if you stop trying to date for a while and completely free yourself of thoughts of dating you can spend more time on thinking about whether or not you're in a good position to be dating in the first place. I still had some trouble sticking to my decision to not date. I guess I can stop dating, but never stop finding women interesting.

At this time I'm thinking about asking someone out and I'm actually thinking about things like whether or not this is a good time for her. I'm now able to consider the feelings of the other person involved. Now all I need is to be sensitive to those feelings. I think this is an important step.

Relationships are not meant to fix emotional pain. They can't do that. They are best enjoyed by people who already have their lives worked out enough to be OK on their own.

There's one more key thing I've learned in this. Cultivate friendships in order to prepare for more intimate relationships. It's just a matter of depth. Close relationships can be like swimming in the deep end; it can be a mistake if you don't know what you're doing in the water in the first place.

Shaun