Thursday, April 06, 2006

Dating Moratoriums

Have you ever felt the need to stop dating for a while? I decided to do just that back in November. I decided to start dating again a month ago and just haven't done anything. You can read about it in my Dating Moratorium post in my other blog. I think it has served the purpose I was hoping it would.

I wanted to do a reset on my dating life. The theory is that if you stop trying to date for a while and completely free yourself of thoughts of dating you can spend more time on thinking about whether or not you're in a good position to be dating in the first place. I still had some trouble sticking to my decision to not date. I guess I can stop dating, but never stop finding women interesting.

At this time I'm thinking about asking someone out and I'm actually thinking about things like whether or not this is a good time for her. I'm now able to consider the feelings of the other person involved. Now all I need is to be sensitive to those feelings. I think this is an important step.

Relationships are not meant to fix emotional pain. They can't do that. They are best enjoyed by people who already have their lives worked out enough to be OK on their own.

There's one more key thing I've learned in this. Cultivate friendships in order to prepare for more intimate relationships. It's just a matter of depth. Close relationships can be like swimming in the deep end; it can be a mistake if you don't know what you're doing in the water in the first place.


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