Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Still trying to figure things out

It's been a while since Shaun and I have posted, but it''s time to crank this thing up again.

So, there's this girl we'll call "Operation Bus Tour."

We had several "moments" together on a ward camping trip in August. Just after the trip, I asked her out.

Well, I left several messages on her voice mail. She eventually left me a voice mail letting me know sometime in the future would work better for her.

So, I asked her out again. Actually, I left her annother voice mail. I called on Tuesday to go to a baseball game on Saturday. She talked to me at ward prayer on Sunday.

Then, she went on full ignore mode. Well, I shouldn't say that completely, but after an activity where I could tell she was avoiding talking to me, I didn't see her a month. I decided to drop any idea of asking her out again.

Then, I ran into her at a party. We talked, we laughed, we had fun. I walked her back to her appartment.

But, then Monday Night happened. Our ward had a hoedown. She and I had dinner together. Then, we danced together (she asked me). We went outside to cool off and talk.

I'm so confused as to where she stands.

How can I ask her?

-Bob

3 comments:

Shaun said...

Sure beats me. As the guy who lives in your basement you have an easy view of any dates I may or may not bring home. Just to clarify, that would be none...

Bob said...

Does that mean I should be happy with what I've got?

Byron said...

Well, I know I had it pretty easy, hardly dating, then suddenly finding kari. The only thing i can say is don't play the game. I spent soooo much time and mental anguish in the depths of emotional strung-outedness, which once i began to build a relationship with kari became nothing but a pure waste of my energies. The thing is, you can't make her mind up for her, nor can you actually figure out what she is thinking based solely on your observations of her behavior. All you can do is be honest and true in your feelings and intentions. perhaps it can be likened to a dance. it is the man's role to lead the dance as he and the woman go through the movements. To lead in this case is not to control. Like our heavenly father, he does not control us, but he will lead us if we are willing. our relationship should be the same with women. Also, in the dance if the man constantly monitors the woman and is always trying to second guess her and antisipate where She would like to go, or what step she want's to make next the dance will fail because he has abdicated leadership while still acting like the leader. it is the same with dating, culturally boys must lead the courtship. so, you deside, not wether she likes you, but whether you like her and if you are willing to seek after her until she will be your dance partner. There is ofcourse the chance she never will become willing. you cannot control this either. work within your sphear of control, and do not try to manipulate her. Manipulation is false and abusive control, you may have experienced it from a family memeber, or co-worker. it's not fun and the wrong way to fertilize the seeds of a growing relationship. D+C 121 has full aplication here.